In the Heat of the Moment (Felix and Calhoun)

Felix was an optimistic, happy-go-lucky, cheerful person.  If there was something good to say about anything he was always the first to point it out.  If there was a way around anything dark, hopeless, or depressing he was the one to pave the path, and if you’re day was stabbing you in the back, he could sooth the wound.
 
This was something everyone agreed on, but since his engagement to Sergeant Tamora Jean Calhoun, it was also agreed that his easy availability to happiness had supercharged. Now Felix could most certainly talk the doom out of doomsday and easily add a cherry on top. Happy had just gotten happier.

There was one exception however: he was still human.

Like everyone, Felix head insecurities, self-dissatisfactions, and things that could push his buttons. These simple truths can be easy to forget because most of the time Felix behaved as though they didn’t exists.  Sometimes he would forget it himself, but there were days that were harder than others, and today was one of those hard ones.

It could have been due to the stress of the approaching wedding and the fact that it was the talk of the arcade, and like in all things, opposition was apparent.  The day had already started low and what Felix was about to hear only took it to the farther down.

Felix was minding his own sweet bee’s wax, not as happy as he usually did but anticipating the fact that he would see Tamora soon. That always made his day brighter, and it was while he waited for his fiancé to walk out of Hero’s Duty that the drops trickled into his emotional distress bucket to the point of overflowing.  

A group of soldiers was casually walking out of their game talking and joking like they always did.  Felix couldn’t see them but could hear every word perfectly.

“You got your place memorized for the big day?”

“Yup.  Nothing’s getting past me or Veronica.” Laughter followed

“Quit being such a thumb sucking wossie, this is serious.”

“Yeah, I know.  Don’t worry, I’ll make sure nothing even gets close to that pipsqueak.”

Felix winced at the nickname the soldiers gave him.

“You better be.  As soon as Sergeant walks down the aisle it’s our duty to make sure it’s nothing but sunshine and happy days ahead.”

He finished and some men started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s just hard to picture those two together.” Someone said very loosely and Felix heard the other men agree.

“Yeah, someone might have to give Jr. a stool or he won’t even be able to kiss the bride!” the laughter that followed was loud.

“Or a good hard drink! I don’t think he knows what he’s walking into.”

“Listen the only thing he’s walking into is a long pair of legs since he can’t see anything else!”

“No I’m serious!” the man cut through the roaring laughter, “the Sergeant makes me shake like a schoolgirl on her first day of kindergarten, and I’m actually taller than her.”

“Alright! shut up slander mouths!” someone yelled, “We all know we can’t judge a book by its cover.” He continued in a cooler tone.

“Awww, thanks mom, that was sweet.”

“Yeah, and will you give me permission to judge a short story!?”  more laughter taunted Felix as he listened, and when they finally emerged through the entrance all the soldiers saw him as he obviously stood by the door.  

All their eyes widened.  Some hands fidgeted nervously, some eyes looked to the ground, and some mouths fell slightly open, but they all grew deathly silent.

One of the men turned harshly and promptly punched another over the head.  The man he punched responded with a look of shame.  Actually they all had a look of shame.  Felix was programed long before all of them, and that alone was enough to earn their respect.  Not to mention he was engaged to their boss.

Simultaneously, and because they all knew what each other was thinking, and Calhoun had whipped them up into a good shape over the years, they all stood up straight and in unison said, “sorry sir!”

Felix gave a small nod, still feeling hurt, but, like usual he wanted to be…nice.  He didn’t exactly like being ‘nice’ however. The men didn’t move because they were waiting for dismissal, but Felix didn’t know, so they awkwardly stood there marinating in their guilt until Tamora finally came out.  She was securing a pistol on her belt looking down and when she looked up after finishing she stopped and was a bit taken back by the scene in front of her.  She looked to her men and Felix and back.

Her eyebrows knitted together. “What’s wrong with you girlies? Get out of here!” She ordered and pointed down the station.  In a hear beat the soldiers shuffled away and Felix saw as one of them took another hard punch at his comrade, who didn’t protest. Seeing that might have made Felix feel a little bit better but their cruel words still circled in his mind, and for some reason he wondered if Tamora ever thought the same things.
 
Tamora walked to Felix and lowered herself to his level, truly glad to see him.  It had been a long and hard day because she was preoccupied with preparations for the eventful day.  It was a big stressor for her as well, but not because of what others had to say about it.  All of Tamora’s concentration was on making the day happen with zero fatalities.  Tamora gave a sly smile, “Hey short stack.” She greeted him the way she had a million times and pushed his hat in front of his face.

Felix quickly caught his cap but kept it where she pushed it. Short stack. He sucked in a breath and closed his eyes. Don’t say it…don’t say it…stay calm…1…2…3…4…5. Felix slowly put his hat back on and took another deep breath, “Tammy, can you please not call me that anymore?” he asked exactly what he had tried so hard to keep to himself and turned to look at her.

Tamora leaned back slightly in disbelief, “Short stack?” She asked because she didn’t understand.  Tamora had called him that countless times before and it had never bothered him.

Felix took another breath, “Yes Tammy, short stack.” He said the nick name as calmly as he could and felt…irritated… that he had to repeat himself.
Tamora noticed he was annoyed and couldn’t believe it.  Was Felix actually upset? Until now she had thought he wasn’t even capable of feeling that emotion.  Tamora peered at him, “Are you mad?” She asked almost in amusement.  

Her question and tone of voice rubbed Felix completely the wrong way and his bucket kept filling with the painful drops.  Felix stared at her and noticed she looked…entertained.  He frowned slightly, “Is it wrong to be?” he asked.

Tamora kept examining his features and noted that even frustrated he looked adorable, and
that made it very hard to take him seriously. She gave a light shrug, “No,” She smiled slightly, “it’s just different…kind of cute.” She admitted still too light heartedly and gently brushed his bangs with her fingertips.

“Oh,” Felix took a step back completely ignoring her gesture, “I’m glad my emotions are funny to you.” his words dripped in sarcasm, his frown deepened, and he wondered how many times she laughed at him when he wasn’t around.  Felix also didn’t doubt she had heard when her soldiers had voiced their opinion about him.

Tamora’s amusement banished, “I didn’t say funny,” Her tone was serious now, “and what has gotten your hackles up?” she hoped it was something serious.  It must be for the way he was putting words in her mouth.

Felix’s eyes narrowed, “My hackles? What about you? I believe all I did was ask you to not call me short stack.” Having to say the nickname again flooded his mind with the words of the soldiers and Tamora’s entertainment at his expense.  He felt hurt all over again over something that never happened.

Tamora stood up, “Fine,” she agreed wanting to just move on because she was beginning to boil over herself.  Felix was attacking her for no reason, and that was something she never tolerated.  Not from her men, not from Felix. “Just don’t blow your top, I get enough in a day.” She informed him sharply and put a hand on his head out of habit. Tamora took a deep breath and looked away suddenly feeling very tired.

Felix took her gesture the wrong way and it made him really notice their height difference.  The top of his head barely reached her hip, and her leaning on him made him understand that she wanted to push him farther down. He’ll need a stool to kiss the bride…can’t I judge a short story…hey short stack…it’s just different, kid of cute…don’t blow your top, I get enough in a day.  Felix got more upset over more things that didn’t go together.  

Felix moved out from under her touch, “What about me Tamora?” He used her normal name instead of the dear nickname he usually called her, “what if I’ve had enough for the day?” Felix asked her in complete seriousness, because frankly this whole ‘I don’t care about your feelings’ business was driving him farther down the road he didn’t like to travel by.

Felix’s question made Calhoun turn and feel irritated too because he wasn’t letting go like she had asked and she was used to strict obedience, plus it’s not like she had done anything wrong. “Well maybe if you told me about it I would be able to help.” She blamed Felix for the circumstances and then turned away wanting to go somewhere where this wasn’t happening.

Felix watched Tamora intently and felt ignored at her turning away from him.  He was standing right next to her and she couldn’t even look at him? Unbelievable.  Felix shook his head and took a step closer to Tamora, “Help?” he laughed in annoyance, “I tell you I’m upset and you laughed at me!” his volume went up.

Tamora slowly turned back to her short fiancé with a deepening frown on her face. He was laughing at her now? Calhoun felt her muscles tighten. “First of all, you still haven’t told me anything,” She clarified firmly, “second, I never laughed, and third,” Tamora pointed at him, “calm. down. This is ridiculous, there is no need to be this upset over short stack.”  Tamora rolled her eyes at the nickname. There was no way so much trouble was happening over something completely unimportant.

Felix closed his eyes and shook his head, “Stop calling me that!” he almost yelled and made his hands into fists.

Tamora slightly bend over the handyman, “I didn’t,” She said slowly through an irritated breath, “and fine I'll stop,” Her volume lowered but it was just as sharp, “now calm down.” Calhoun ordered.

Felix’s emotions were now easily flooding over and her bossing him around on how to feel felt like a splash of boiling oil. “For once can you not tell me what to do?!” Felix looked at her and suddenly remembered all the times she had dictated his behavior.  To his dismay there were quite a few. “I’m upset, I’m upset ok?! And as hard as that might be for you to believe, it’s the truth!” Felix’s voice got louder and more insensitive, “I would think you out of all people would know all about being unhappy! and I always let you show it, so why not me?!” Felix paced in front of her and gestured at himself and her as he rambled in annoyance, “I put up with your attitude every day.  Now put up with mine!” Felix ordered and gave her the hardest stair he could.

Sergeant Calhoun’s chest heaved with agitated breaths. She pointed at him, “Fix-it, Stop.” She used the tone reserved for the last warning to her men and didn’t hide it. Tamora could feel her fingers curving into fists from his intentional wounding comments. She would have none of it, “Stop.” Tamora warned again through clenched teeth and tried to keep uglier words inside her mouth.

Felix’s eyes narrowed, “See? There you go again! All you know how to do is give orders!” Felix folded his arms, “stop, calm down, don’t blow your top,” Felix mimicked Tamora crueley and folded his arms to also copy her current position. He then turned in a half circle and back to her, “what are you, a sergeant?!” his volume went where it had never gone before and he put his hands up “Oh wait!” Felix fumed and brought his hands back down but in fists this time.

Tamora took a sharp breath and felt her muscles tighten like they did before she punched one of her men. No one ridiculed her. Ever.  Tamora straitened her arms and leaned over the handyman, “At least I do something worth doing!” Her volume exceeded his easily, “What do you even do?” Tamora asked angrily, “Oh yeah,nothing!” she pointed it out in full intention.

Felix straightened up not wanting to back down to her.  He didn’t need one more person telling him that he couldn’t measure up to Sergeant Calhoun. “Well I believe I do more than protect a pile of rocks!” he couture attacked, “Sure is easy to be a ‘hero’,” Felix made the quotation signals with his fingers as he said the word, “when all you do is save a non-existent humanity!” Felix leaned closer to her to try and be more imposing, “Who do you keep safe Tamora? Because I’ve never seen a single inhabitant in your game!” Felix added. He was not going to back down to anyone.

Tamora tightened her mouth shut and her hands were in such gripping fists that her nails were cutting into her palms. What did he know about her position? She was a protector, and a leader. Felix was no one, and he was not going to tell her what her job meant. What was more surprising to her was that he was going places that didn’t tie back to the root of the problem, but as of right now, she couldn’t really remember what that had been. “You don’t know anything about saving a humanity, because all you do is fix broken windows with a hammer. That’s hardly hero work!” She growled and gritted her teeth together only throwing gasoline in the bomb fire, “and it just makes for an extremely arrogant handyman that didn’t even earn his own magic hammer!” she kept going and the words that came into her mind she knew were venomous, but that only made her want to say them even more, “You sat in that penthouse and let one of your own teammates live in the garbage for thirty years Fix-it!” She exposed his mistakes and saw Felix shrink at the mention of Ralph because it was something that he really did feel bad over, and she knew that.  Also the mention of his father so lightly earlier added to it, “So, don’t you dare come after me over something you know nothing about!” she spat never taking her eyes away from his.

Felix’s angered red cheeks turned deeper in shade.  His breaths felt heavy with emotion and he didn’t blink as her words stung him. If she went there, he could go further. Felix looked at her square in the eyes, “At least I didn’t let him get eaten!!” he yelled, and the echoes in the desolate station said it over and over and over.

Tamora grew very still as the words pounded into her ears. She became rigid and her face took a look of vacancy as her mind took her to the moment Felix had accused her of; when she hadn’t been a hero, and where she let her beloved die. Tamora could hear the glass shatter, the screams, and the gunshots, her gunshots, as if it was all happing right now. Calhoun straightened up and looked away from Felix.

As soon as Felix saw the look on Tamora’s face and realized the line he had ignored and willingly crossed, he desperately wanted the words back. Felix’s anger dropped and he suddenly felt cold, limp, and about three feet shorter.  Felix shook his head in disbelief, “Tammy, no! I didn’t--I’m so--that’s not what I--” He stuttered and stumbled over the useless words, but of course they weren’t enough. There was nothing he could do to take back what he had just said.  

Tamora didn’t move, and her face was covered by her hair. Felix quickly moved closer to her and by habit grabbed her hand to try and make her feel better, “Tammy no, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” He said the only thing he wanted her to know.

Tamora wasn’t violent, but in this moment, when his words pierced every pixel she was made of, the worst in her came out.  She pushed her hand forward quickly and then ripped it out of his as hard as she could; obviously using more strength than was required.
Felix staggered backwards nearly falling, but he caught his balance just in time only losing his hat in the process.  Felix watched Tamora with wide eyes filled with guilt.  Tamora never behaved like this, but he knew the caliber of wound he had just prodded at. There was no way he didn’t deserve this treatment, so he stayed back, but couldn’t stay quiet.

“I’m sorry.” His voice broke as he began to almost cry, “Please, I didn’t mean that…” He sobbed, but how could he have done that to her?  

Sergeant Calhoun took a rigid bread and straightened up. Without a second look she pushed passed Felix, and didn’t hide her heavy footsteps as she marched herself down central station in the direction of her game. Tamora held a straight face to keep the depression that clung to her chest secret. She wasn’t going to give anyone, especially Felix, the satisfaction of seeing how wounded she really felt.

Calhoun heard Felix call after her through the empty station but it came in one ear and out the other without a single twinge of regret. The last thing she wanted to do was have to look at him again.  If she did, who knows what she would do, and for the first time in months, Sergeant Calhoun was relieved that she had a home in Hero’s Duty to go to.